ups and down.

i wish. and really wish.

brain.

sorry for the overload

tummy.

sorry for the butterflies

pillow.

sorry for the tears

heart. 

sorry for the damage.

you are criticizing others. but sometimes you are so true.

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

happy thursday evening peeps!,
well hey i'm still duduk lenggang goyang kaki without any studying.hoihoi.malasnye kannnn!

anyway i just finished a long chit chat with my sweet mama. and titiba jadik terexcited wanna write everythangg here. haa harusla kan.sebab mama is my best counselor so harusla juga utk share kat semua. haruslahhh haruslahhh! hoyeahh~.

oke. let us start it.

Bismillahirahmanirahim..

anyway, have you been critized by others either in front of you or back and ouh left right up down. pernah?. and howwa you feel. sobs. down gile kan. opkosla because being critized was something tht never in our wishlist life kan. bcs we thought that we'd do everything fine. itu ape yg kite rase.not others. so sedar2 la shaaa! upss~

if ppls told me that i'm so mengada2, you said it seriusly and with your disgusted cute face it just fine. because i knew it well. sy memang sngt mengada. terbawak2 kehidupan manja di rumah. sobs. really it just fine. and sy sedar diri.

anyway. when you said something like pffffffff#%^&*#####. and ouh buat orang tersentap. memang harusla down gile. and i'm not fine with it. and i barely can't stand with it.but good job dude. you have your own good life happily married and yet maybe you have your kidSS.. why don't just leave me happily with my own life. sobs.

but alhamdulillah. after a long talk with mama. i feel released. yet i realize that maybe there's valid point that he wanna convey within his view. and BIGGIE THANKS to you for pointing this out.

i maybe IGNORANCE and not represents a good muslim. sobs. but please do commented it nicely as Islam had tought us to reprimand in a good ways, with the most polite ways. ni tidakkk.terus nak boom here and there because i never make u trouble since the day we have nothing. apekah?

i'm a woman. sadness, tears sensitiveness are parts of me.so please do speak nicely to me because i thought i never speak harshly to others. because i knew how it feel.

anything harsh and tragis is just like angin lalu because by take it seriusly and personally might hurt our heart.just leave it. but peeps, the gist were there.

i'm a muslim but i'm not represents a good muslim. yeah. =='
to change drastically is not a human's nature behaviour. it'll not keep on continuously and constantly.

mama told me first thing to be better is by changing our intention. niat utk berubah kerana apa. kerana cinta.kerana kawan.kerana keluarga atau kerana ALLAH. and yes, my tears nearly drop down when mama told me that :

" mama tidak pernah memaksa secara keras dan melarang anak-anak mama utk berfesyen, mama tidak memaksa anak-anak mama utk bertudung labuh utk berjubah cukup kalau ianya sopan dan follow as woman's fitrah. mybe is too late sebab mama tak larang dari kecik mcm sesetengah parents yg melarang ank2 dyrang from wearing jeans and tshirt since they are small. so it'll make anak-anak mama mamberontak bila keterbiasaan harus diubah. but insyAllah, mama tak pernah lupa utk berdoa kt Allah everyday, mama sebut nama anak mama sorang-sorang supaya suatu hari nanti inilah anak-anak solehah yang akan mendoakan mama dan abah, yang akan menjadi isteri yang taat pada suami, yang akan menjadi ibu-ibu yang solehah, anak-anak yang solehah pada mertua ".

thanks mama. i do love you so so much.

but i keep on questioning myself, am i so bad. and urghhh maybe. if noo, takkan ad yg berani ckp begitu rite even he is not seeing me right in front of him. ouhh BIG CLAPS for him :)

and yes. niat tu ada. sangatsangat ada. because i wanna be a good daughter for my abah and mama. i wanna give abah pahala and i wanna give my future-husband a lotsa pahala.so insyAllah. i'll be much much better. insyAllah. because i love them so so much.

o Allah.
show me the ways. :)

first thing first mama told me. ;

jaga solat and never miss to recite Quran.

insyaAllah ma..

#habuk pada mata.#

anyway, please allow me to share with all of you this beautiful recitation. mama told me to hear for this and InsyAllah it will help us be more peace with everyone. anythings.any challenges and circumstances. :)

ehh. mcam dah lemah lembut dan sopan santun je kan this entry. huahua. *buas tetap buas*. upsss~

:P

anyway. thanks for reading. and please ignore my lil bit unstable emotions.

and if you read this. THANK YOU SO MUCH :) may you live happily with your family.and ouhh. i'v just read that long long agooo email. and never thought you still wanna send an email to me. and no reply. sorry. because i'd replied it here.

sekian.

assalamualaikum :)


peaceeee ^__________^

reflection.

Assalamualaikum dear ones. :)

good late nite! hehe. penangan coffee buat mate saya tidak mengantuk tetapi malas utk stdy. huahua. =='

dear peeps,
have you asked you heart,mind and soul why and why and why when we try to be better with 'somebody' that actually we are not comfort with, we try so hard to be oke with, but it seems nothing.

pernah tak rasa mcm itu? =='

i know that it's not a good feeling,and it should be vanish from our heart. but as my mama told me, "soal hati tidak boleh dipaksa", bukan soal hati soal cinta je ye, tp orang-orang sekeliling pun harus diterima oleh hati kita without any bad feelings. yeah. soal hati memang tidak boleh dipaksa-paksa.

sometimes, we need time to reflect ourselves. take a deep look about our owns. because most of the times, ppls keep on searching others fault and weakness. kadang-kadang kita kata org gemuk, but at the same time, actually you are insult your own-self. sedar atau tidak. we need lotsa time to reflect back diri kita sendiri.

and i'm currently faced with it, and i just don't know why,. anyway by saying that, i know that HE is testing and challenging my heart right now with these tiny obstacles. but ya Allah, i really can't bear with it. i'v try so hard but maybe it was just a phrase from my mouth, "i'v try so hard" but it was not came deeply from my heart. Allah knows better.

i just don't know why i need to face with this type of ppls, but it's so called as life. kan. lumrahnya begitulah. there 'll not be as i wish.

but there's one thing i just wanna know from this type of ppls. you keep on searching others fault or weakness, but have you ever noticed that you are not so good enough to talk about others. you keep on troubling others but u think it's oke. and you don't ever realized that you had made me trouble. oh Allah, please forgive me for not being honest and sincere towards others but i jus can't stand it anymore.

however, one thing that really made me better was by talking to mama. it was not a mengadu ngadu session, it just a pampered-time for me to be with mama. and mama told me, that people who feels lack of love, lack of confident and lack of everything will show to others that "she is the best" :)

: less talk, more reflect :
: less finding others weakness, more updating our own weakness :
: less show but more share :


please no offense :)
and it also a reminder for me. cause i wasn't good enough to correct you directly. ^__^


p/s:
i was not a good girl, i'm not a good actor.if i said yes, i will grant a huge smile ever :)
but
if i said no, and i feel forced to do it and i think what r u talking about is ridiculous and budget nak hottt, budget nak show off . naah. this is my expression =___________=.
sorry yep. no offense.

sy belajar berterus terang dr dia. and i feel go0d :)

till then. assalamualaikum :)

sy bangga jadi bakal guru :)

assalamualaikum. :)

happy sunday peeps!

ye. sy cikgu fasha. and today i proudly announce, sy bangga nk ckp yg sy bakal cikgu. naah~ i noe, it's not ohsem kan, sy bukan dokter. sy bukan engineer.sy bukan lawyer.sy bukan programmer, sy bukan menteri. kwangkwangkwang~ sy bukan bekerja sebagai kerja yg hebat2 org dengar. yg bley wat org jaw drop whenever they ask :

"ouh,em awk keje ap skrg". " sy keje cikgu",.." emmmm..ohhhh."

"emmm..ohhh" je kau reply. soookeyyy.no hurt tacink! :p

and recently i always heard&read ppls around me on news, blogs, newspaper and even facebook keep on arguing about GAJI.

come on babehhh, marilah percaya itu semua adalah rezeki masing-masing. everyone ade tanggungjawab masing-masing.and ALLAH da susun semua tu. you gaji bnyk tu, itu takdir hidup u. terima larh. no complains pls. suppose to be i gaji bnyk ni. ouhh ALHAMDULILLAH. syukur sngt :)

lagi gaji besar, lagi banyak kehendak.lagi banyak berhutang.lagi sempit rumah with furniture yg nak mahal xnak kalah. lagi berat leher dengan rantai rantai. lagi berat tangan dengan gelang-gelang. lagi berat jari dengan cincin cincin. lagi tak muar porch sebab kereta makin besar. lagi dan lagi dan lagi.. don't u notice that?. lagi busuk hati sebab nak hebat xnak kalah dgn masyarakat sekeliling. come babeh.come on..~ be matured pls.

dun't ever insult others sustenance. dun't ever doubt about others occupation.

mungkin pada pandangan orang kerja sbg guru itu sesuatu yg mudah. kan. sebab pagi pagi pegi sekolah mengajar, then at 2 da buley angkat kaki pulang ke rumah. yeah?. nak nak ajar kanak-kanak yg konon xbnyk silibus nak ajar, lagi mudah kan. ye.itu pada pandangan awak awak semua. sy tahu. dan itu juga yg saya rasa pada satu masa dulu.

when i was 16, after my PMR, dengan result yg xseberapa, sy masuk clas sains dan i feel it was so tough! gila tough for me yg not s0o superb genius mcm awak awak semua. then, i felt down.so down dengan result exam yg xohsem. then, i made a decision. 'NAK JADI CIKGULAHH, SENANG SIKIT, XPAYAH AMIK SAINS PUN BLEY JADI CIKGU'.

so my ambition when i was in middle year of 16, was TEACHER. i wanna b a teacher sebab kerja mudah sngtt.alarhh pegi sekolah mengajar je. and i love kidsss so much.jadi bleyla main main ngn bdk2 main masak masak ke kan. beshhh oooo~ :p , so then i struggle on wut i can, nk bagi lepas masuk IPG. and alhamdulillah i made it! :)

now,in 2012. genap 4 tahun saya di maktab. left 1 year and half only, tp sem 5 ini sudah hampir melabuhkan tirainya.so hello sem 6. then it just left one year to b full-time teacher, insyAllah :D alhamdulillah. ouhhh mcm tak percaya anak mama dan abah sudah besar rupanya. 0___0

and i felt sooo hard to be a teacher. jadual di maktab mmg macam sekolah sebijik2. we are train to be a teacher.so we need to train like kids in school. arghh. down. xd life rasenya. a bit depressed. but bila da 4 tahun di maktab. alhamdulillah, jiwa ni rasa da tak sabar sangat nk jd cikgu sepenuhnya di sekolah. nak mengajar nak didik anak anak yg memerlukan didikan sepenuhnya. nak sangat buat semua tu sekarang.

it is not as easy as you see. tapi saya yg berada di hadapan kelas rasa beratnya tanggungjwab yg digalas. we try hard to achieve our objective lesson. try really hard, tp kite kena faham juga, kadang-kadang ada anak murid yang x cemerlang even da ajar separuh mati geram rasa nak cubit, mungkin ada beberapa faktor lain yg kadang-kadang kita xnampak apakah faktor itu. jengjengjeng~. jadi yg akan dipersalahkan ialah cikgu. cikgu tak pandai nak ajar. cikgu tak ajar betul-betul. cikgu malas. cikgu itu,cikgu ini..ohhh, cepat2 la mintak maaf ye pd mulut-mulut yg da mengeluarkan semua itu.

kalau betul cikgu tidak pandai mengajar, mana datangnya perdana menteri. kalau betul cikgu tak pandai nak mengajar. sila TAMPAR diri sendiri sebab diri kita sendiri adalah GURU untuk DIRI sendiri. diri kita sendiri adalah GURU untuk anak-anak di rumah. jadi silalah maki hamun diri sendiri sebelum maki hamun guru guru di sekolah. kan. kan kan. upsss~ a bit harsh. maaf semua.

jangan hanya kerana GAJI, guru harus dihina. tskkkk.=='

mengajar 30 minit tp bepeloh-peloh macam lepas buat marathon 100km.haha. ;p
mengajar 30 minit tapi suara da serak macam lepas karoake lagu rock. yeyehhh~
mengajar 30 minit tapi BBM macam da penuh kalah kedai jual BBM. kau ada?.~

please, berfikirlah secara lebih terbuka.
saya belum jadi cikgu officially, tp sy rasa jadi cikgu memang sangat susah. sangat. seharusnya kamu semua tahu, cikgu adalah sangat mulia kerana sedar atau tidak sedar 5% of their salary mesti akan disalurkan untu murid-murid sekalian. kamu ada?. masuk mulut masuk perot sendiri kan. so just diam2 saja. buley?.

mampu ke kamu semua nak kawal manusia seramai 40 orang, tanpa menggunakan mikrofon.
mampu ke kamu semua nak jadi badut, menari nari di hadapan kelas untuk menghibukan anak-anak murid.
mampu ke nak jadi pelakon di hadapan kelas?
mampu ke nak jadi penyanyi di hadapan kelas?
mampu ke kamu semua nak berpeluk cium busukbusukbusukmasam anak murid di dalam kelas?

# tepuk dada tanya hati. ;)


ye. sy cikgu fasha dan sangat rindukan anak-anak murid sy yg cumelbusukmasham semua! :)

BACHELORETTE'S DAY. to feel relief # part 2

assalamualaikum peeps :)

anyway.anyhow, i just coming back from an exciting day. nguhehehe. BACHELORETTE'S DAY ;p
no man, no couple. just a cute hyper girl! oh GOD.perasannn~

i just wanna emphasize here, ohhhh macam ayat karangan pule. ok again, i wanna emphasize here that it really helps me to feel better. just go round and round. no shopping, no window shopping. just beautiful scenery-seeing :), subhanAllah.

no need to have a great plan, bombastic plan, just said it and make it reality.and ouh!, d most imp0rtant thinggg, u need to have lil amount of moneyyy. tak perlu bnyk.just around rm50-rm60, if u are a good money planner.

it's really fun and exciting moments i t0ld yaaa~, memang sngt survive for ppl like me yehh because i wasn't t0oo good to DRIFT at 'jalanjalanberliku' di sekitar PENANG. and the most imp0rtant thing, YAKIN je dgn ap yg kite buat, yakin je bile tgh drive tu. and masing-masing di dlm kereta harus la yg sp0rtingsp0rting like my gegurl, sesat la tang manaaa pun, mereka c0ol je plus buley gelak ketawa bersama lg.even our st0mach was so hungry and dancing like k-p0p artist.

oke peeps. picture talks! :)

this's some of em'. and the rest pls go by ur own to taman negara and bukit bendera.
sounds belagak aitee.haha ;p

eh eh eh, sy mahu jadi sopan santun dan lemah lembuuutttt
maaf ye terkasar bhs ;)
phewww~

anyway! this weekend iss s0o ohsem yeah!
alhamdulillah :)

feel relief and happy by l0oking at em :) try it! #part1

anyoyoyo.you are s0oooo cute baby. and i feel relief plus a bit stress because i dun't have one to kiss em till penyetpenyetbhusukkkkk. ;p

comelcomelcomel dan geramgeramgeram!
arghhhhh~ ;p

men are from Mars.women are from Venus. #part 1

pen on ;)
2.32 am

assalamualaikum and good day everyone :)

i'm so in love with reading. and i think that sort of hobby kinda obvious now. doesn't matter what sorts of source i'd read, magazines,novels, comics.etc. tp yg obviousnya is novel opk0s! aha. but it's kind of shock for me. because i can't stay long with love novels. compared to before. i dunno y. but i easily getting bored only by reading to 3-4 chapters of that novels. macam busannn pulakss. like you know, macam..em. like a same-love-story. huahua..because you know why?. i'v own a great one. reality one. kalohh novel semua. aha. *pengsan*

anywayyy~
i wanna share something i'v read with ol of u. apa yg sy mampu cerita and olah. and and and i think it would benefits to me and u ols, so why nottt.whyyy not i share it here kan? :)

i think everyone were so familiar with this novel aite, or shud i called it as a 'motivated novels' to improve a relationship between man and woman. hence it jus not focusing on love relationship, but it gives us ideas, lotsa ideas actually about how to manage a man-woman relationship.

and ouhhh!~ it really open my eyes. open my mind. open my heart widely about my perception towards you.my man :)

oke.oke. let me elaborate some of it seems i wasn't finish yet reading this book. due to my busy-ness.buat buat busy.malas sngttt haih~ :p

first of all :

~ the author explains that men and women have such different needs and expectations that they may as well be from different planets. . yeah.sangat different that's why we need each other:), man and woman are complementary.

~ men value themselves through achievement.they wanna solve problems and build great things. they think that problems are opportunities for a solution. if the problems are too big to solve, they go off by themselves and do something to forget about it. but actually, deep down, men fear that they are not good enough or not competent, and consequently desire to be needed and trusted. they wanna be the best among the best. the best for himself, the best for his family and the best for his love one.

~ women, value themselves through the depth of their relationships. they intuit or understand others needs and automatically give of themselves to help. their deep fear is they are not worthy of love. they give freely and give to0 much but at the same time, they are afraid to be hurt by giving to0 much. Consequently, women want to be cherished and have their feelings understood.

~ when a man was in stress, he will focus on solving a problem. he will picks the most urgent problem or the most things that burden him, and become so focused on solving this problem and temporarily loses awareness of everything else including you, his love one. so0o pls, after this jgn nak tacing-tacing sngtla kan *ckp kt diri sendiri*, because it's the fact of man. the truth is 90%. and the rest 10% is; the man'll try so hard to not ignore you when he's in trouble. berperang dgn konflik dalaman ;p, and ouhhh!, plus in such times, he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive and preoccupied in his relationships..

~ and woman, through talking actually can make her feel relief. man needs to know when woman is in stressed, she instinctively feels a need to chit chat with you, manja-manja luahluah apa yg gerammarahsedih di hati. and, woman is not immediately concerned with finding a solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing her feeling and being understood by you. my man :), by randomly talking about her problems, she becomes less upset. ketahuilah wahai jejaka hati saya. i'll feel relief if you are here with me to hear anything from me, and you need to know, i dun't need any solution from you.i dun wanna burden you, i just wanna you to be my best listener, my pillow talk. my tears-mate. i wanna feel your warm hugs whenever i feel sad :). thats all ;)


" once upon a time, Martians and Venusians met, fell in love and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences "

:)

thts all from now, till i bl0g again.keep on reading. ahaks! ;p

lotsa love ya! <3